Top 10 List of Funny Stuff From Augie:

We were having a family discussion last week about some of the great one-liners that come from "the man". Here are a few we aren't too embarassed to share:

1. "Get out of my room, and take that fart with you."

2. "Emmerson . . . You're a Democrat!"

3. "He's a hillbilly, but he's an O.K. hillbilly . . ."

4. "Mom, you're the family. Dad is the parents. They're the kids."

5. "We need signs on all the bathrooms in the house to avoid gender confusion."

6. "If America is a free country, why can't I have an orange slushie?"

7. "I want a bloodhound." (He hates our bassett hound and other dogs, generally)

8. "Get your mouth slober off my drink."

9. "Mom, you need to fill up your tea drink." (after drinking my cup dry)

10. "THIS IS MY INSIDE VOICE!" "I DON'T HAVE A STADIUM VOICE."

11."Dad, HELP! The toilet . . . it's leaking from the top!"